Who am I? What am I passionate about? What are my goals and aspirations? Try to answer any of the above questions without including something about your children. It’s nearly impossible for us Moms!
When I speak about my life BK (before kids), I tend to gaze off into the distance and speak and reminisce as if I’m describing this person that I once knew. This wonderful, talented, well-rounded, WELL-RESTED, woman who oozed of ambition and creativity. God I miss her. Even as I type I miss her.
There is such a struggle that we mothers face: the struggle to carve out time for ourselves. To do it guilt-free. To do it more than once a year…on our birthdays.
I have learned a little something about children as I have gone along: They. Never. Stop. Needing. Oh goodness, they never stop needing. I have an 11-month-old all the way to a 12-year-old and two in between. A mother’s work never ends. It changes, but it never ends. Just ask my own mother who is still fielding four phone calls a day from me!
I recently hit a particularly rough patch. Quite frankly, all these kids were kicking my butt. No one was doing a single thing wrong, and I am grateful to have some angelic little kids. But they are kids. The day is long, the house is endlessly in need of cleaning…and dinner. Well, it is just sooo DAILY!!!
These daily ins and outs of life just haven’t been exciting lately. I was lamenting to one of my girlfriends the other night at a moms and kids dinner play date. I was discussing going back to work, perhaps part-time, something to stimulate my mind. My friend, who is a working mom, and I always have the same discussion: she hates that she isn’t home enough and I wish I could get out more. She said something to me that, while it might seem very obvious, was noteworthy to me. She said, “You know, you’re not a slave to your children. You are a person too. You have to do things that make you, as a person, feel good and complete.”
I stewed on that. She was right. Look at my husband, for instance. He is the single hardest working person I know. (I mean seriously. He works crazy hours, many of which are sleepless nights. God bless him.) But do you know what else he does? He plays basketball every Thursday night with his friends. Never miss a week, no matter what, come hell or high water, every Thursday. Why? He loves it. It makes him feel good and it is fun! Sunday? Oh Sunday, he plays Flag Football with an organized group of guys. Why? Again, he loves it, it is fun, and he never misses! He says being involved in the organized sports motivates him. He thrives on the competition and he wants to better than he was last week.
So what am I going to do for me? What is going to make me a better person? Fill my mind? Provide an outlet for my creativity? Give me something to talk to my husband about at the end of the day…something that I’m passionate about?! The very thought has me all excited!
Well first thing: I’ve started back at the gym. It screws up my littlest’s nap schedule just a smidge, but hey, we’ve done it your way for a year baby! Gosh it feels good to exercise. Like real exercise, not the workout videos I’ve been doing in my family room, often holding a baby and fielding cracker requests from a three-year-old. I put those two cherubs in childcare for an hour and dedicate that time to improving my health.
I have a few more ideas up my sleeve: I want to write more, I’m going to start my esthetics business back up, and I’m going to start taking better care of me. Mind, body and spirit. I have a responsibility to my family to care for them and protect them. To raise my children to be the amazing adults they are destined to be. I also have a responsibility to me. To continue to evolve. To have interests and passions and, ultimately, to be more than I was yesterday.
What are you going to start doing for you?
Cheers to finding the “Me” in “Mommy”